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  • Writer's pictureMelanie Barrett

Unconditionally love your greatest fear of all - JUDGEMENT

Updated: Apr 17

When the human no longer needs to be perceived in a certain light - when it no longer needs to appear as a ‘particular’ someone - it is no longer afraid of judgement.

The human ‘identity’ wants to appear as the opposite of what it ‘believes’ its SELF to be; that’s why it is so exhausting, it tries so hard to fit the mould of what it THINKS it needs to be, to remain safe, loved and to belong to the group (survival instinct). It is all based on false ‘assumptions’ created subconsciously before we could rationalise. Assumptions and beliefs that have been inherited genetically and through conditioning. All part of the socialisation process which of course is necessary, but a lot of junk is downloaded in the process.

Eg If your psychology holds a core belief (assumption) (which is actually energetically in your cellular makeup), that you are stupid, you THINK (believe, assume, perceive) other people are perceiving you as stupid, so you want to appear as intelligent. You are starting from a false premise, your energy (vibrational frequency) is already on the back foot and it isn’t even true!

Any ‘lack’ perspectives come from fear - they are NOT true.

It is all subconscious (cellular) ASSUMPTIONS !! We aren’t even aware consciously that these deep assumptions are driving our motivations!! - until we slow things down enough to really be self aware and start examining our deeper motivations of what we are thinking, saying and doing….and WHY…What are we trying to ‘get.’ What false assumption (belief) about ourselves are we trying to alleviate through the way we function? What lack beliefs are we continually striving to reconcile through our human expression.

To be aware of them is your key to freedom.

The fear detector (protective mechanism) scans every bit of sensory input (literally millions of bits of incoming data) to verify ‘it’s’ truth that you are in fact very stupid, ugly, unlovable (whatever your lack beliefs are). It will interpret the tone of the other persons voice, their eye glance, every word they say will indeed confirm that your worst fear is in fact true!! 

The ‘protector’ literally looks only for the sensory information that will confirm its bias! It ignores any GOOD stuff!!! We literally perceive what we believe! There is so much incoming data that the protectors entire job is to delete, distort and generalise ALL sensory data to confirm its bias - it thinks it is keeping you safe. AND IT’S ALL HAPPENING UNCONSCIOUSLY. We really believe (mostly unconsciously) that that person is judging me in that negative way, that they maybe see in ‘me’ what I am desperately afraid might be true, so I’d better try harder to avoid being seen as who I’m afraid I am!!! We are terrified of particular people or circumstances that could potentially trigger our ‘lack beliefs’. 

The human identity (created out of fear) therefore lives a very limited life when it lives only in avoidance of potential threat (Fear) or a striving to get more of what it thinks will complete or fulfil it (seeking for Love). It’s on a merry go round of avoidance and grasping/ seeking ‘more’.

We maybe avoid ‘those’ people (who may trigger our lack) or we try to create a life where there’s no possibility of rejection because rejection would absolutely confirm that I am in fact unlovable. Sometimes we are looking to reject others before they reject me, and again its unconscious behavioural patterns.

It simply isn’t TRUE!!! Nobody is judging you. Nobody can even see you. Humans can only see their own mental projections. If you judge somebody else - it is YOUR mental assumption, happening in YOUR mind. If you THINK somebody else is judging you, it is YOUR mental assumption, happening in YOUR mind. 

The ‘identity’ desperately wants to appear as intelligent, attractive, sociable, elite, funny, spiritually enlightened, unconditionally loving, like it’s ‘getting somewhere in life’ (whatever lack belief its trying to assuage) because it’s trying to counteract or ‘protect’ a core wound (a false belief). Ghosts trying to satiate ghosts. The identity is always trying to be a particular SOMETHING, when really it’s NOTHING. That’s why it’s so desperate and exhausted…and ‘over it’. But nobody wants to be a ‘nobody’ do they? Only spiritual seekers who are so desperate that they will even take on the identity of being a ‘nobody’ for more kudos in this play! :).

News flash! - The human is already a nobody simply ‘efforting’ to appear as a particular ‘somebody’; there may be nervousness in the body and the human tries to appear calm and collected, what stress that causes!! Anytime we try to not feel however we feel causes stress.

Simply being with whatever arises is freedom; whether that’s shaking, palpitations, joy, anger, excitement - when it’s ALL welcome, as it is, there’s freedom to BE.

Us humans have MANY false beliefs that we are projecting on to our reality. Our whole mental story is a Merry - go - round of them! We spend our lives manipulating, tiptoeing and navigating around them. Like hungry, crying babies that never get satisfied. They may be fed by the sporadic complement or job promotion, or holiday or new man or woman in my life…then when the pacifier is taken (which is inevitable)…..they’re off to the races again!! :)…”Why me…nothing ever works out….I just don’t know who I am or what to do with my life.” Bla…bla…bla…(there’s nothing wrong with wanting anything in life, but when you believe it will fulfil or complete YOU, it causes distress when it inevitably ends).

The life story is just appearances of beginnings, middles and endings. All ‘good things’ must end. All ‘bad things’ must end. That’s life!

The human condition is to live in the made up BS stories in the head and not really truly experiencing each other ‘in love’ (which is only ever right here, right now, in presence, beyond projections ‘thoughts’ about past and future….beyond ‘me, myself and I) - little limited, human fear balls having conversations with other little, limited human fear balls. Mental projections speaking to other mental projections!

Energetically we are saying to life, to each other “Am I enough?..please validate me…please tell me I’m enough”. Funny thing is we don’t even realise this is what we humans are living as (so fearful and limited) …that is until we become consciously aware of our true power….what we really are.

Our true power is the infinite Source of unconditional love. It is the power of creation. It is our true potential and it is the animator of our human experience, our body, our life! It is the essence of this creation that we call the universe and our human experience. IT IS WHAT WE ARE. HOW COULD IT NOT BE? How could it even make sense that each body is completely autonomous and functioning ‘separately’ from whatever the source energy of all of these amazing life forms are? That is the arrogance of the limited human consciousness :).

So….back to core wounds or conditioned programming of the body/mind. To heal a core wound (lack belief) is to let ourselves feel the original pain of it in unconditional love/ space/ presence. Let it speak itself out fully, in its raw expression, not going in to stories eg - somebody says something you don’t like, the psyche phantom is triggered, you feel the intense contraction in the energetic body, instead of hopping on ‘thought’ train about the interaction and how to put it right, how you’ve failed again, how you’ll never get it right, how life’s too hard, or whatever your particular current drama is (a ghost trying to satiate a ghost) - use it as a wonderful opportunity to expand your consciousness (break the spell) by simply slowing down and recognising what core belief is being triggered by the interaction. Forget the details of the interaction and ask yourself what is the deepest feeling? - what are you most afraid that the other person THINKS of you? What are you most afraid of being perceived as. What are you most afraid might be true and just face it. Or what the event you are trying to rewrite in your mind says about you if you don’t rewrite it eg “I’ve failed, I’ll never be loving enough, if only I had been more…..” Get really honest with the lack that you are afraid of being true. Bingo! - that is the lack belief that wants to be allowed so that it can be questioned, re evaluated to see if its really true.


Listen to it as if you are listening to a dear friend, objectively and unconditionally loving, with no agenda or opinion or trying to fix it or rationalise it.

This is the real work. Complete raw honesty with the lack that you are afraid ‘might’ be true. These suppressed fears deserve to be felt.

This life has forced me to face the darkest deepest fears ‘head on’ about myself, about humanity, that a human can face. Only when they are truly faced and allowed, fully admitted, can the falseness of them be revealed. Only then can the truth of our existence reveal itself. In that pure light of infinite awareness it is so obvious that you as a separate identity structure aren’t even real!

Truth will set you free, especially the ugly stuff!

My fears of being a complete failure in every aspect of life, being not good enough as a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend, an aunt, a female, a wife, a therapist, a lover, a student, a teacher, an artist, a good person, a kind person, an intelligent person, a beautiful person, a pure person, a safe person, a healthy person etc….etc…etc….etc…etc…. EVERY need I had to show up in a particular way in a particular role had to be exposed as the needs of a false identity structure.

Life in its beautiful wisdom and benevolence literally absorbed me back in to itself - pure…infinite…unconditional love. Love/ Life crucified me until no personal ‘identity’ of lack or need remained. I had nothing left to even try to ‘uphold’ a special identity. Life made me face the deepest, darkest, ugliest judgemental fears that are rife throughout humanity, especially through our Western culture. This amazing body has endured through chronic, pathological, existential despair, chronic anxiety and depression, abhorrent self loathing and crippling perfectionism to fully accept that maybe ‘I’ as a limited human Being could just never measure up.That it is in fact an impossible conundrum. That 'I' as a separate entity just don't know how to 'do' this life.! ".At this point life said “Finally....Welcome home to who you REALLY are already the BEING not the DOING." The 'doing' happens but you are not 'doing' it!. The separate 'sense' of self; the ego, never actually does a thing!!

Every appearance is Source/ Life functioning within and as each form.

Humanity’s deepest, darkest, ugliest fears have been faced here. I have had no choice. I would never have ‘willingly’ chosen this path to walk :). My Soul chose it. It is a warrior. 

My psyche was tortured until it could take no more darkness.


My mind started breaking…..


….so that light could begin filtering in…

Our light….

I’m literally weeping as I write this. Life in its infinite intelligence and pure unconditional love, forced through my little body an admittance and allowance of my absolutely inevitable failure at trying to ‘do’ being a ‘perfect’ somebody in life. So that my ‘identities’ could die fully back in to love…so that  life or LOVE could truly LIVE, naturally and AUTHENTICALLY through this body.

So that only our love/ light/ truth remained.

It is a process that never stops deepening…the integrating of more love/ Souls light in to our human form.

Use your deepest fears as a practice to learn and grow as a Soul. To let more of (y)our Souls light in. It’s the whole point!

Eg “I’m so afraid they’ll think I’m stupid, an underachiever…just not good enough….I’ll fail at it”

Then ask - and what would that mean if they think that? What would the implications of that be?

Well…. it would mean that it’s true.

And what would that mean? What would the implications of that be?

Well….that I wouldn’t be as good as everyone else.  That it would be true that I’m the loser.

And what would that mean? What would the implications of that be, if you are in fact the loser?

Well….that I would be left behind…disregarded…in the human ‘race’….that I would come last in the game….I would be lost.

And what would that mean?

Well….that I would be alone….unworthy…completely unlovable.

And what would that mean? What would be the implications of that? Of being completely unlovable, disregarded and alone.

Well…..that I won’t survive. I would be left to starve and die alone.

ALL lack beliefs (core wounds) loop back to this original fear - “I won’t survive.” I.e the fear of death.  IT IS SIMPLY NO LONGER TRUE FOR YOU NOW…HERE.… You now have EVERYTHING, all of the resources and capacities to meet your own needs perfectly. Our true needs really are very few. Most importantly of all - THE NEED FOR LOVE…..YOU ARE WORTHY OF YOUR OWN LOVE…It IS HERE IN PRESENCE…ALWAYS…IT LACKS AND NEEDS NOTHING…IT IS ALREADY ENOUGH! IT IS ALREADY WHOLE. IT IS ALREADY COMPLETE.

We are not TRULY living until we have faced this fear that underlies all other fears.

Ask the Soul aspect of you…deep in your heart.

“Is it really true that what I really am could ever truly die?” “Does what I really am ever die?” “Does what I really am lack/need anything…right here…NOW?”

If you ask deeply and earnestly enough your higher Soul aspect (which is always only here…now in presence) will tell you the Truth in sensations, feelings and maybe images (however your Soul speaks to you) but you have to be still, quiet and open enough to receive this Gold/ pure intelligent light….infinite potential….your SELF.

This connection elevates your vibration/ energy body (out of story) immediately.

As we reconnect to our rightful place as the Soul (our infinite essence, the silence beyond thought) - we can simply ‘be’ lovingly and without judgement with the original wounds in ‘presence’; shining our loving light through them.

They just want to be held in (y)our loving presence…exactly as they feel.

It is essential that you realise - you are not on a journey ‘towards’ being more perfected. Your Soul essence is what you are…right here…within and as presence…already. This unified clarity/ clear light is revealing itself more clearly through your human form. This is where I feel spiritual practices can fall short. They allude to a ‘future’ where if you perfect your human form enough - you’ll get there one day! And only the ‘chosen’ few attain the full accolade of liberation. It is just another identity that of ‘the spiritual seeker.’

Your soul, higher aspect, unconditional love, pure light is ALWAYS already here. It is ALREADY the essence of EVERY appearance. The human identity cannot ‘achieve’ this :). It doesn’t need to. It isn’t a ‘state’. The human identity structure is what ‘seems’ to eclipse it. ‘Seems’ being the operative word! You are already the pure light of awareness projecting through your human lens to create your particular ‘individual’ human experience.

If these words resonate it is your soul speaking to you and guiding you. If they don’t that too is absolute perfection and you wouldn’t still be reading it!! Ha ha!!

There is no one ‘right’ WAY to home. There is no Truth that applies to ALL. How could there be.

There is simply what resonates moment to moment…that is Soul/ Source communing with your body….guiding you out of contraction to expansion like a tuning fork.

You (infinite Soul) wanted THIS particular life experience, to become more consciously realised through it. Your Soul becomes more because of the challenges it experiences as a human form. There’s no growth without friction. 

When the butterfly comes out of the cocoon, the only way it can strengthen his wings is by beating them against the cocoon so its' muscles will grow. If you help it you prevent it from getting strong enough to fly; it will die.

Soul is felt more consciously when YOU (the identity) isn’t the most important focus of attention :), which is the tricky part because its cries and conditioned lacks/ needs are so magnetic, alluring and hypnotising!!

Those original wounds and suppressed emotions (the ones the human aspect is afraid to feel) naturally begin to evolve from fear in to love, light and power (the whole point for the struggle), as we admit them. As we truly admit to feeling that we may actually, possibly be lower than a snakes belly! How else do we cultivate ‘unconditional love’ through this body  if we don’t realise that we have actually at one time or another been on the receiving end and committed every atrocity that man has committed. We are ALL ‘HUMAN’.

This is the awakening process of humanity’s belief out of the limited belief in separation. It is felt here that the human brain is evolving beyond the illusion of separation. So that humans can live a life that is underpinned by love and unity and not fear. Can you imagine living a life in a society that is not built on the premise of personal survival/ fear. Wow it would eliminate greed and control completely. We are only greedy and selfish and need to control situations and ‘others’ because we fear death. You may think no I’m not selfish but you are, we all are, every human is selfish because it thinks it is separate and that it ends when the body ends. It thinks it is only a limited animal, and as an animal it is ALWAYS self serving. If I’m not solely focused on ‘me' and ‘mine’, if I don’t fear the end of this body, if I consciously realise that I AM EVERY appearance can you imagine the implications of decision making from that premise. Making decisions that are based on unity consciousness; for the good of ‘the whole’ (because there is only ‘the whole’) so that I am consciously aware that EVERYTHING I think, say or do affects EVERYTHING!!

This, I feel is a most exciting time of expansion for human consciousness. As a species we may wipe ourselves out first though with fear; selfishness and greed; our ‘me first’ mentality. Hey ho!…we’ll begin again…maybe :).

Our current level of consciousness clearly isn’t working, so naturally as an organism our human brains are upgrading and evolving. It’ll go through a lot of craziness first, as is clearly apparent. But eventually maybe we’ll have love/ unity based societies, when the human realises that what I do to others I in fact (obviously) do to myself, only it’s the future generations of the short sighted fearful greedy ruling elite who will suffer the consequences of their unconsciousness. How amazing that the impact on the planet of so many current business practices isn’t even factored in to decision making!. It’s like well if me and mine aren’t directly affected now then I literally don’t give a f###. Well hello, wake up! your children’s children will have to live here.

The Awakening journey is becoming a heart centred, authentic human Being….it is a lifelong process of becoming ever more authentic in our expression as a Soul living a human experience. Vibrating consciously from love …instead of fear. Not ‘trying’ to be purer or ‘more’ self realised or ‘trying’ to do ‘being perfect’. It is simply being present enough to ACTUALLY feel your ‘unconsciousness’….and admitting it. Admitting simply means allowing, being with, not avoiding or running away from what is HERE to be acknowledged….so that it can naturally evolve in to love. You don’t need to protect yourself from darkness anymore…it’s essence is pure light!

As we evolve… more of our Soul light is released in to our body of experiencing. It is the whole point of existence…to expand and grow as a Soul through the process of life and living as a ‘limited’ human. Evolution is happening by itself…but your attention on presence as the main focus, instead of lack thoughts seems to soften the edges. Life starts to feel lighter and freer.

And as an aside, nobody is better or ‘more’ evolved than anybody else. We are all equally everybody, simply ‘appearing’ as separate forms. This realisation is true equanimity. There aren’t ‘special’ humans who are ‘above’ the play who are going to guide those ‘lesser’ ones (even though they may THINK they are :)), this is still in the play of separation and human arrogance. We are evolving en mass as an entire species, as ONE life form. We are all simply products of our ancestors. We are ALL responsible for the good, the bad, the ugly. We are ALL all of it. …and NONE of it. Only deep acceptance, deep admittance of the ugliness and judgement we have ALL created as a species enables more of our souls essence to be felt through the body of experiencing.

What you despise or are afraid of or judge in another you are afraid to ‘admit’, ‘allow’ in yourself. True story :).

Life (You) becomes lighter and freer throughout the lessons and challenges that life continues to bestow upon your human form.

One must first develop a deep faith that unseen forces (our infinite light) are holding us, supporting us and moving us at ALL times. As we open up to this higher power, by coming in to presence (this moment), only then are we able to truly FEEL the love consciously that is embracing us, that is ALWAYS here. The faith develops naturally in to trusting, then knowing…without doubt.

THEN you are strong enough to simply feel what is here to be felt.

When life is lived consciously and without doubt…then the heaven/ infinite love that is always only HERE…NOW….reveals itself to you….not necessarily angels and trumpets (though that may be the case :))…anything is possible!…but I mean just a feeling of energetic expansion, a boundlessness, an all encompassing emptiness, an unconditional loving benevolence and inherently deep okness that pervades EVERY appearance.

This is when our perceptual reality really begins to change. The perceptual lens expands. The individual life still appears obviously, but you are no longer an isolated individual, you realise you never were. Something deeper, the essence underneath comes forward. It is sensed. Don’t know how to put that articulately enough in words to express it.

This is what returning home to love is.

But it does take a huge pair of Kahunas to walk to the beat of your own drum :).

To move only with the promptings of your own heart; with what naturally resonates moment to moment. But you need to stop chasing validation or safety, or ‘fitting in’, for long enough to hear it/ sense it. That quiet gentle whisper of pure resonance, with what ‘feels' resonant for you in every moment….that is Soul speaking to you…RESONANCE…it’s all it has to guide your human form through lifes dream reality. Even if that means turning your back on the whole world…because the whole world IS simply a projection of your own limited mind!

We begin to realise, consciously that this entire universe is made only of love…and it is the infinite light appearing within and as form. We start living from the inside out. Projecting our authentic original light, our heart, our dreams on to the life play, instead of through the lens of fear - outdated dramas that no longer feel resonant to engage in/ with.

We begin to realise consciously that there has never been death and separation….that passed loved ones are always here…as THIS infinite moment.

We realise that we have never done anything wrong, neither has anybody else. (Although I always have to add the proviso that if you are being a turd, you’ll reap the consequences of that - of course cause & effect operate in the play of being a human).

This reality is pure, infinite light, ‘appearing as’ momentary diverse shapes and forms that span eternity.

If you want to feel safe, loved, whole and complete, ENOUGH. Then reconnect, remember your soul, your true self, your essence. It is ALWAYS only HERE…NOW. Keep returning your attention to presence until there is no doubt of who you really are. 

Presence naturally becomes your anchor, then mental and emotional clutter is just realised to be a conscious clearing out of (y)our own accumulated baggage (fear), but you have a deep knowing that it’s happening by itself. YOU (the identity) are no longer a self improvement project. You realise that you are ALREADY the infinite light, Soul, we ALL are, simply loving your human as it grows, develops and becomes MORE open to receiving the light of eternity (LOVE)….that you could never not be. You just become less identified with the personal identity. It gets lighter and lighter. Triggers can still happen AND it’s all ok.

The old accumulation of gunk, false, inherited lack beliefs, just need to be admitted, allowed. Presence, Soul, naturally digests, metabolises and integrates the stagnant energy. 

This is the integration process. It happens by itself! Life is upgrading itself through our forms. The natural evolution of life. The fear based existence is being recycled back in to love. It’s beautiful that the human Being was endowed with this cool functioning in the brain that let it feel separate and autonomous; now maybe its expanding beyond that functioning to something way more integrative and accepting of ALL perspectives.

The sh## has to hit the fan first though, that is probably the extremes that we see being played out on the crazy Life stage now “And don’t disagree with me or have a different opinion about something I subscribe to or I’ll make sure you are cancelled forever.” It is based in fear it says “Agree with me or I HATE you.” 

It’s so interesting there’s a weird dichotomy at play whereby it says “Hey world I can identify as whatever the hell I like…you won’t define me with your classification systems…but please world accept me or I’ll hate you.” It is like an archaic system of fear of control eating itself alive. Imploding in on itself. Stand well back if you don’t wanna be sucked into the sink hole! :).

My work, my love, my greatest joy is to provide the environment where you can feel your OWN connection to Source, to love, to home….our infinite essence.

Then you begin to consciously remember that Heaven is all there is….Infinitely. That we are bathed in love and light…always….and that your human body just has to be guided lovingly by your own Soul to allow more love in to its cells. The cells and tissues carry the past, intergenerational ‘issues’. 

Blame, shame, guilt ceases to be relevant.

The issues are in the ‘Tissues’. All human conditioned perspectives are a product of the past, how could they not be?! Living consciously is a recognition that nobody AND everybody is to blame.

The greatest help to an ever evolving humanity is to work every day to consciously breathe in the love of presence (beyond thought creation) more deeply in to every cell of our beautiful…amazing bodies of light!

Life is upgrading itself naturally out of fear/judgement in to acceptance/ love.

I must emphasise a human can’t ‘do’ being perfect. It can try (as I did)…but life is so intelligent and beautiful that you will fail at every attempt.

Life says…let go now…

Just be your authentic SELF….moment to moment.

…and mind says “How do I do that?”

….and Love says you can’t ‘do’ that or ‘know’ that.


The journey from here to here…or the finite to the infinite… or head to heart is only a journey of mind….

…but what an incredibly, long, arduous journey in imagination its been!

Just like Dorothy…tap your shoes now…take 3 deep breaths..

Exhale the suffering & Come home now….

All is forgiven…

Figure out what makes your heart sing and do heaps of that….forget the rest…..that will expand your energy field and raise your vibrational frequency out of fear.

Fear isn’t true - it is simply a conditioning.

You are a perfect… flawless…eternal diamond of light…ALREADY!

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