Why We Lose Our Childhood spontaneity and Openness — And How to Find It Again

As children, we begin wide open. The world is fresh, alive, and filled with possibility. We don’t yet see through layers of ideology or personal story. We don’t  yet believe we ‘know’ anything about this mystery we call life. A stick can be a magic wand, the sky is infinite, and even the smallest moment holds such wonder. The wrapping paper is just as exciting as the gift inside!

As we grow, the brain starts absorbing ideas, concepts, and perspectives (points of view) from family, school, culture, and experience. These, over time,  build the framework we use to navigate and interpret life. Its as though every human brain has its own language to interpret life (the human mind). 

At first, it helps us feel safe and oriented in space and time. But over time, this framework hardens as it gathers more and more concepts as ‘Truths’, it becomes rigid and somehow creates a sense of limitation. The great mystery of life is seemingly reduced down to ‘my’ interpretation. The fluid openness and spontaneity of childhood 'seems' replaced by opinions, beliefs, and fixed ways of seeing. What once was free and expansive becomes narrower and more rigid somehow. Again, this infinite mystery is seemingly reduced all the way down to ‘my’ individual view.

This is often why we miss the feelings of childhood. It’s not simply the circumstances we long for — it’s the openness, the intimacy, the oneness with life experience, we don’t have ‘knowledge’ about life in the way. We miss the energetic frequency of being unburdened by rigid frameworks. A perspective that was more spacious, more curious, more alive, more ‘real’ and direct.

But as adults, we tend to hold our perspectives very dear. Why? Because over time, our beliefs and viewpoints get woven in and become our sense of self, our identity. “This is who I am, this is how life is, this is what’s true.” When someone questions or opposes that, it doesn’t just feel like a difference of opinion — it feels like what I am is being questioned, even attacked. The nervous system reacts as if part of us, what I AM is under threat. That’s why opposition, a mere difference of opinion,  so often triggers defensiveness or withdrawal.

Awakening is like a return to openness — a return to our essence or foundation, before concepts became what I AM, but with an added depth and intelligence that childhood didn’t yet hold. It isn’t about losing knowledge or rationale, or rejecting all perspectives. It’s about dissolving the stiffness, the rigidity of ‘belief’ as Truth — the subtle adherence to our personal lens as ultimate Truth.

When this rigidity in the nervous system softens and opens, something beautiful happens:

• We can listen to a different view without defending and feeling personally attacked (which is only fear). 

• We can hear another’s view lightly without needing to agree OR oppose.

• We can hold knowledge lightly, with space for mystery.

• We feel more open, warmer and connected to life, less threatened.

  
  

This is true intelligence — not the accumulation of facts, but the capacity to stay open, flexible, connected. In this openness, real communication, genuine relationships, natural growth and evolution of concepts and ideas can unfold, for the betterment of all.

Awakening to our essence doesn’t make us less human. It makes us more available. More able to meet life as it is, and each other as we are.

A Simple Practice for Relaxing the Mind’s Rigidity and returning to Openness and expansion.

Take a moment right now to pause…

1. Notice your body.

   Feel where you might be holding tension — the jaw, shoulders, chest, or belly.

2. Soften with breath.

   Breathe in gently, and on the exhale, imagine that part of the body softening, ungripping, just a little. No need to force anything.

3. Recall a perspective you hold strongly.

   It might be about life, a relationship, maybe a grudge you are holding about someone, maybe a fear about a future event, maybe about politics or about where the world or your life seems headed, or even a daily opinion. Notice how it feels in the body to hold this perspective tightly, as though it is absolutely true.

4. Now, experiment with space.

   Imagine holding that same perspective as though it were a stone in the palm of your hand. Instead of clenching a fist around it, let your palm relax and open. The stone is still there, but you are not gripping it.

5. Sense the difference.

   How does your body feel when the idea is held with more space? Can you notice a touch of ease, curiosity - ask yourself "Can I be 100 % sure that the way ‘I’ or 'my mind' sees this situation is absolutely true?", maybe there’s a little sense of ease or even relief in the body and nervous system?

   
   

This is the beginning of what happens when rigidity softens: the nervous system relaxes, openness returns, and there is space to truly listen  — both to the higher intelligence of life (which is always here and guiding) and to others perspectives.