I’m going to attempt to explain how I now perceive reality to be through this body :)
On my journey of awakening and since I was a little girl I knew there was a deeper unifying truth of love underpinning our existence. I intuited somehow that what we actually are is so loved, so safe, so free, so unified, but I couldn’t feel it reflected back in this human (limited) paradigm. I felt like a deeper, safer, more loving unified experience of truth was missing. Like we were all sitting on an invisible lie. Skeletons (unresolved traumas) in closets, unfaceable fears lurking in shadows, so many weird perspectives and polarising opinions that keep us separate from each other. So many monsters under the bed; unconsciously felt yet not faced and expressed so that they could finally be healed. People trying to keep mad busy or become ‘more’ so as to not face their own imagined ‘lack/ toxic shame belief’ shadows of separation. Being still seemed so impossible for some.
I could perceive around me and reflected in the news etc…fear, stress, depression, hostility and it disturbed me greatly. Although I was too little to consciously even recognise that I was distressed. When we are little we don’t really question the perceived experience…it just is.
Something deep inside knew that it wasn’t beneficial or serving our evolution and it isn’t our essential, natural state to judge each other or wish each other to feel bad or be pitted ‘against’ each other in any way shape or form. We are pitted against each other and compared to each other from birth. “Oh my son scored this in the test, oh my daughter ‘won’ the competition, she’s amazing!” What about the ‘others’ who didn’t win? Are they ‘losers?’ How cruel we are to our children and we don’t even realise it. Let’s be honest we don’t give a flying fu## how ‘other’ children are doing, we may give the token “Oh how’s your boy going?” But do we REALLY care as long as ours are in the ‘winning’ lane :). “I” was usually in the apparent ‘winning’ lane so these words don’t come from bitterness:).
It just felt wrong in my body to see or feel anything other than unity and love. It felt counterintuitive in my body to see anyone harbour any ill will towards or compete against anyone, to hurt another in any way or to make comparisons. You got 98% so you are ‘better’. You got 28% in a subject you couldn’t give a fu## about so you are retarded and are going nowhere in life. You are more beautiful so you’ll get all the jobs you apply for. We continuously try to fit round pegs in to square holes. How can our children grow in authentic confidence when they are supposed to thrive within such limited parameters of what is deemed by our education systems and societies (and ourselves as ‘good know it all’ parents) as relevant to learn and become proficient at. The child conforms and therefore excels in the existing parameters, ‘system’, or is deemed wild, unteachable, a nuisance or just ‘not up to it.’
So constricting to try to find our own truth within such a narrow lens of options available. I remember watching a guy on the TV with his children approx twenty years ago and he took them out of mainstream school and home educated them. He was asked “what do you teach them?” and he replied whatever they want to learn and are interested in, their hearts and intuition lead the way. Back then he was considered a real outlier and rather extreme. It seems common sense to me now :).
As so called civilised societies we have individually been programmed in to division, competition, separation, ‘Be the best!’. “Out shine’ everyone else! This mentality is what makes us fodder for companies to sell products to us. Can you imagine how many companies would go out of business over night if people suddenly woke up from the “I’m not beautiful enough and need to be ‘more'” belief??!!! Imagine if ‘comparison’ wasn’t a thing?! - ‘less than’ and ‘more than’.
Getting injections of shit in to our faces!! What the hell!! And it’s so normalised to feel ashamed of the natural ageing process, as if wrinkles shouldn’t appear :). As if you should feel less than if you have them!! Or ‘better than’ if you don’t!… I’m still working on that one :). It's proper crazy that we've somehow deemed the natural ageing process as bad or wrong (as if it's a mistake) PROPER insane :) that we are in a full on war trying so desperately to avoid what is naturally unfolding. The desperate little human fights like mad the 'ISNESS' of reality.
This is not about judgement AT ALL. Whatever floats your boat is absolutely perfect. It is such a paradox to even try to express it. If You want fillers go for it, I suppose it’s the new hair dye. You want bigger houses, flashier cars, etc…go for it…ENJOY! But if you want freedom and peace (which EVERYONE does whether they consciously realise it or not) it is essential to check where every motivation, impulse or desire comes from. Is it from fear of not being enough? Because if it is, that ‘not enoughness as we are’ is the lie we’ve been sold. It simply isn’t true. Just an insidious belief that informs our entire reality and keeps us separate and competing with each other. What would you do, how would you be if you were on a desert island and there was nobody else to see (judge) you or your behaviour?! Contemplations like this help us to realise how much we ‘do’ is influenced and motivated by our fear of judgement or wanting to be ‘seen’ in a certain light or rather fear of being seen a certain way? To be motivated by lack/ fear is to be a prisoner of our limited minds.
We are all absolute perfection at our essential level; equal, pure, pristine, loving incorruptible light. Pure love. Imagine being told this from when you were a child. That there is no such thing as comparison because we are all equal. That our expression from our heart, our authentic feeling and expression is absolute perfection. That NOTHING in this life can add to your perfection or take anything away. That how you feel can never be wrong.That you are the infinite sun. Here to shine your unique light, that that will effortlessly evolve our limited human paradigm and everyone in it.
We all begin as pristine, energetically sensitive and intuitive beings. We are so gaslit by the reality that we are born in to. Our parents may have argued, we maybe felt the tension and knew they weren’t feeling ok but when we asked, in order to ‘protect' us they said “No darling, everything is fine”. Talk about crazy making, this is how we are first taught to doubt our intuitive feelings, our personal truth. Children can sense the energetic truth of a situation and we tell them lies as though we are somehow protecting them from the ‘harshness’ of truth/ life. We decide that they can’t handle truth, when actually it is ourselves who can’t handle the truth of reality, because we are so suppressed and in fear.
Imagine being told from when we are little that we can handle anything because we are pure light - imagine that!! Being told that nothing can enhance your essence and nothing can deplete it….that it is inexhaustible, that beauty, love, safety is an energetic vibration and it is our essence, that it is impossible for your essential love, safety, natural beauty and belonging to be threatened….that you don’t need to be ‘on guard’ or defend.
I intuitively knew that the ‘human condition’ of fear and separation that we are born in to isn’t the be all end all of the story. It is just a limited ‘experience’ that actually something far more loving, far more permanent, far more unified, whole and wise, is having. I intuited that this lifetime is just a snapshot, a ride. I knew without doubt that our essence is so graceful, so whole, so free, so unconditionally loving and infinite and abundant. The wearing of black at funerals and the idea that a widow would never enjoy life again after a loved one has passed felt like such a misunderstanding; such a limited, naive perspective. Like it’s missing the whole point of existence.
To believe we are only limited, separate humans really prevents the FULL ON enjoyment and celebration of this ride. When we remember who we are it is so deeply realised that we are infinity, simply having the experience of a physical reality. We still grieve and mourn the loss of our cherished ones ‘physical’ form of course but it is deeply realised that they are never separate from us. There is no ‘actual’ separation, it just appears that way in the limited ‘human experience.’ We feel the pain of rejection if a relationship that we love ends, of course we do, AND it’s ok!…we have the capacity to fully feel it and grieve the loss. This is how we clear the heart space for a more ‘evolved’ version. We take the lessons learned and evolve. This is the point of our human reality. To continually evolve and expand in consciousness.
Now it’s obvious as I’ve released more layers of illusion that I’ve always intuited our deeper, veiled truth. Most of us probably do. There is only one unified Being appearing as all of the ‘separate’ life forms that we perceive. We are all each other at the essential level. There’s only One…infinitely.
How you treat or think of another is how you think of or are treating yourself. When we reject anyone we are rejecting a part of ourselves. When we judge another we are judging ourselves. This doesn’t mean we put up with nonsense, of course we remain discerning in this play, but we are simultaneously connected to a deeper unified field of consciousness. It is only the separate ego in ourselves that judges and fears the separate ego in another :). Source has no fear or judgement. It doesn’t even perceive separation.
Yes that one unified Being or Source looks through each of our eyes and we ‘feel’ separate and appear to have separate thoughts, feelings and experiences. But at our essence we have never actually been separate. WE ALL know this intuitively, that’s why believing ourselves to be only a ‘limited’ human can be so painful….so much suffering.
We are all at our essential, Soul level, the infinite sun, One unified Being or Source illuminating every apparently separate life form.
As the human life form we have this amazing ability to know and experience ourselves as separate, to have an experience as though we are separate and autonomously functioning. It is amazing! The only downside is that if we believe ourselves to actually be ‘only’ separate then we live in fear of our demise.
Because we live in fear that our body could end at any moment, we fear that what we are can end at any moment. We fear our loved ones can end any moment. Of course the physical appearance can end, but love or pure energy never ends (science knows this :)).
This fear (our survival mechanism) therefore thinks A. That it always needs to maintain personal control of life and B. That it therefore needs to always be strategising, thinking, weighing all options at all times. Protecting itself and its own bloodline. Protecting its life. The separate human thinks it is in competition with all other humans for its survival. It is addicted to ‘thinking’ its way through life. Nothing wrong with’ thought’ as long as it is uplifting, as long as it enhances your experience. As long as it is ALL inclusive.
‘Thoughts’ rooted in fear propagate individual suffering and the suffering of humanity. ‘Thoughts’ rooted in separation, blame, shame or guilt cause you and others pain. The human is addicted to them.
The human is addicted to belief in separation and lack.
Alcohol addiction, sex addiction, gambling addiction, porn addiction, cosmetic procedures addiction, social media addiction, food addiction, the need for ‘more…more….more’ addiction. These addictions are all an attempt for the human to feel better about itself, to feel connected.
The human desperately seeks its connection to Source, it’s just looking for love in all the wrong places! We just want to ease our perpetual unease.
The addiction that underpins ALL addiction is our addiction and belief in ‘THOUGHT.’
Thoughts are like little bricks of creation in pristine consciousness.
What we really are is infinite consciousness; a pristine, clear, empty, unified viewing platform.
A single thought appears in that…it is believed…once attached…other like thoughts are magnetised….they begin building our reality/ perspectives.
Make sure your house of reality is constructed with bricks that YOU consciously choose….that YOU prefer.
It is our work to be vigilant of the thoughts (bricks) that are creating our reality. If they don’t include ALL perspectives they are in separation. If they condemn you or another they are rooted in fear and separation. If they are in judgement of you or another they are in separation. Again it must emphasised that we have boundaries of what is appropriate and inappropriate in the moment but we never lose connection to the underpinning truth of unity consciousness.
Our karma are the beliefs that have been inherited through our bloodline and conditioning. Thoughts are an automatic offshoot of inherited beliefs and perspectives. Nobody is singularly to blame. Just karmic patterns in nature.
Be still…connect to your pristine, infinite nature, back to the drawing board.
Create from here :)…from our PURE, CLEAR potentiality.
Face any emotional shadows that are lurking..they are just feelings that deserve to be deeply acknowledged and integrated…be responsible for your own energy.
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